Every woman has the right to say “no” at any time

The recent killings of two young women in Rhodes and Corfu have been dubbed femicides, and not without reason, as their gender appears to be the primary “culprit”. Tragically, crimes against female victims are not uncommon, and it seems almost unthinkable that two young men engaging in comparable “transgressions” (such as entering a relationship with a “stranger” or declining sexual intercourse) would meet a similarly tragic end.

“Femicide is a distinct crime that was previously masked as ‘honour crimes’ and more recently as ‘crimes of passion’. Labeling such a murder as femicide is therefore an act of resistance against obscuring a societal reality, revealing the complicity of our sexist societies,” notes my source, whose insights I sought regarding these two shocking incidents. These crimes have sparked heated debates about whether the victims somehow “provoked” or “asked for” their fate, whether their femininity was the primary issue (which it evidently was), and how the actions of the perpetrators, as well as their self-appointed “defenders” – and sometimes their self-appointed punishers – are interpreted sociologically, psychologically, and politically.

Gender violence will persist, to such an extent, in fact, as long as we as individuals and communities ignore it and become complicit in its potential existence.

“What empowers such perpetrators is the refusal to acknowledge women’s autonomy, and thus their right to consent or not to an act for which consent should be the only requirement,” says my source. They also argue that identifying patriarchy as the moral instigator is not at all “outdated”. Despite feminist victories and societal progress in recent decades, patriarchy remains a potent system of power, hierarchy, and values with a global impact that does not solely victimize women.

They also discussed the significance of the “Don’t Skip – Don’t Ignore Gender Violence” campaign currently spearheaded by Diotima. They spoke about patriarchal biopolitics, about “No” always meaning “No”, regardless of when it is said – hence rape is prosecuted even within marriage. They also addressed the ‘interconnected vessels’ of sexism and racism, the need for stricter enforcement and implementation of relevant laws, and the crucial need to change established attitudes and behaviors within institutions such as the police, judiciary, education, and media.

– Is it appropriate to classify the murders of Eleni Topaloudi in Rhodes and Angeliki Petrou in Corfu as femicides?

The brutal killings of these two young women, one by two young men and the other by her own father, can indeed be seen as extreme instances of gender-based and sexist violence. These crimes, like many others in our country and across the globe, are committed with the intention of enforcing societal control over women’s bodies and their personal choices. Choices that, if they are not approved of, can result in the loss of their very lives.

The crime of femicide is a distinct category that was often obscured in the past by the notion of “honor crimes,” and more recently under the guise of “crimes of passion.” Labeling such a murder as femicide is thus a form of resistance against the obfuscation of a societal reality, unmasking the complicity of our sexist societies.

At Diotima, we have already begun the process of elevating this issue within our legal system, advocating for these incidents to be officially recognized as femicides and handled accordingly by the judicial authorities.

– How can a mere rejection or refusal of sexual intercourse escalate to murder?

To comprehend how rejection of sexual intercourse can escalate to murder, we must first consider the implications of gender and sexist stereotypes, and the roles of masculinity and femininity when they are enacted and performed as individual identities.

In my opinion, the crucial factor that emboldens the perpetrators is the refusal to acknowledge women’s autonomy, including their right to consent or not to an act for which this should be the only prerequisite.

The violation and overstepping of these boundaries by a “toxic” masculinity, which inherently denies the right to refusal, can lead to femicide by men who perceive themselves as the ultimate, dominant male.

– Is patriarchy truly the “moral author”, and how much power does it hold after decades of feminist struggles and achievements?

Patriarchy, the system that has historically structured gendered power relations on social, political, and ideological levels, remains regrettably dominant in Greece and worldwide, albeit with varying intensity.

Despite the feminist and women’s movement’s efforts to expose numerous inequalities and discrimination and establish formal equality in legislation, they have not brought about the radical social changes necessary to weaken patriarchy’s ability to (re)produce male dominance and women’s subordinate position. This is, in part, due to patriarchy’s interconnection with the capitalist system, its foundational institutions – such as family, religion, and education – and its disciplinary mechanisms.

What remains significant and dominant in contemporary Greece and beyond are patriarchal views, perceptions, and practices. These serve as the active raw material that shapes our self-understanding, the way we relate to and exist within all types of relationships, as it continues to exercise biopolitics. This means it determines both our position within a social system and the nature of our needs, aspirations, and desires.

– What is the current situation in Greece? Can you share your personal experience?

I must admit that, having been an active participant in the feminist movement in our country for the past few decades and having experienced the ebb and flow of its actions, I observe a dual social dynamic today: On one hand, there is a progressive trend in terms of the discussions and issues that arise. On the other hand, there is a significant regression, particularly concerning the understanding of the importance of the radical feminist movement’s demands for everyone’s lives and the quality of our democracy.

The absence of a legacy of the struggles that preceded it, particularly in the public sphere, is not only disappointing, but also a wake-up call for our collective conscience.

– In an era that can hardly be described as prudish or conservative, where sexual liberation ostensibly broadens horizons and provides a myriad of choices and opportunities, one might anticipate a significant reduction in violence against women. Yet, this is not the case. Why is that?

That’s a crucial question: the issue of sexual liberation and its implications. Who are the beneficiaries of these choices and opportunities for sexual intercourse? Which women and which men? The denial of an erotic desire, which can often be laden with other needs and aspirations, such as conquest, acceptance, or the fulfillment of an unconscious or repressed desire, can complicate or even make incomprehensible the acceptance of rejection by men. This is particularly true for those men who are unfortunately the majority, who subscribe to a masculinity that is characterized by dominance, control, and a sense of ownership over women’s bodies and lives.

The persistence of gender violence in all its forms—physical abuse, psychological/emotional abuse, verbal abuse, sexual harassment, rape, trafficking, etc.—is a testament to this.

Gender violence will persist, and to a startling degree, as long as we as individuals and communities overlook it and enable its existence. That’s why we at Diotima have been emphasizing our ongoing campaign, with the message “Don’t Skip – Don’t Skip Gender Violence”. This is to underscore the responsibility we bear as a society when we trivialize it, when we regard it as a private issue or something that only happens to some other “unfortunate” individual.

– There have been numerous discussions in the media and on social media about whether “no” truly means no, whether a rejection can be taken at face value or is part of a “game”, and whether a woman has the right to say “stop” even at the last moment. Is it all that ambiguous?

The slogan at recent movement demonstrations, such as those marking November 25, the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women, was not coincidentally about this very issue: “no means no”!

Every woman has the right to say “no” at any time, even if she previously consented.

It’s important to note that the law recognises the violation of a woman’s will to engage in sexual intercourse, even within the confines of marriage, as an offence (marital rape). This is a fact that, surprisingly, many people are not aware of. This legislation precisely upholds a woman’s right to say “stop”, or “I don’t want to”, and not to have her consent taken for granted.

Further, we must not overlook the role of the media and social media platforms. There have been comments that try to question the victim’s identity, her response, and her inability to protect herself. Additionally, details about the perpetrators that shape public perception of the incident according to the most conservative and sexist standards have been shared. The media, in this way, preconditions our view of perpetrators and victims, creating a barrier to recognizing and rejecting gender stereotypes and their influence, thereby perpetuating their dominance.

The media functions as a significant mechanism for the reproduction of sexist norms, both in its organization and the content it produces. It shapes a distorted image of social reality on a daily and subconscious level, rendering these issues trivial and diverting social awareness.

– What does the fact that many of the reactions expressing outrage against the perpetrators, as well as the retaliatory beating of one of them by fellow inmates (likely not coincidentally the most “vulnerable” one) for the murder of Helen Topaloudi, also had a “macho”, sexist undertone, tell us?

These responses, in the form of vigilantism among prisoners, and particularly against the most vulnerable one due to his ethnic identity, indicate the interconnectedness and mutual reinforcement of racist and sexist behaviors. It becomes easier to react against a foreigner, presumed to be a murderer, who is also stigmatized as the “other” because of his criminal act and the perceived insult to us.

This could also be seen as an act that points to the resolution of differences between supposedly diverse male identities, which is, nonetheless, a sexist standpoint.

It’s clear that such practices and attitudes are in no way conducive to the advancement of demands for the elimination of all forms of gender violence and violation of women’s rights.

– What punishment do you believe would be “appropriate” in such cases and, more importantly, what are the ways in which such attitudes and behaviours can be combated?

I’m not in a position to determine the most suitable punishment, but what I would hate to see is the culprits “getting off lightly”, as the saying goes. We’ve seen numerous instances where rapists and perpetrators of femicide receive relatively lenient sentences. This not only fails to deliver justice, but it also provides an alibi for society and its institutions. That’s why the intensification of penalties must go hand in hand with a robust defense of every woman’s right to safety, everywhere and at all times.

– How could this be achieved?

Aside from the judiciary, institutions like the police, which are steeped in patriarchal attitudes and unapproachable practices, play a crucial role. They not only fail to protect victims, but their inability to enforce the law makes them complicit in femicide. The underestimation of the risk victims face when seeking help, the failure to intervene when necessary, and the prevailing victim-blaming mentality must be denounced by the entire democratic world. Immediate and drastic measures must be taken in this regard.

Changing dominant attitudes and behaviours is a task for all of us, both individually and collectively. However, the responsibility of the State and its institutions is paramount, as it’s the State’s duty to educate citizens, demonstrating practical will and determination in defending women’s rights.

The education system at all levels, which is long overdue for the inclusion of sex education and educational activities to manage gender relations among students, needs to be addressed. Teachers also need to be trained to recognize and respond responsibly to the boundaries and respect for the rights of others.

Lastly, the media plays a significant role in perpetuating sexist norms, both in their organisational structure and the content they produce. They create a distorted image of social reality on a daily and subliminal level, trivialising these issues and hindering societal awareness.