New York Times: the dark story behind Elon Musk’s father

Elon Musk, the eccentric billionaire, is known for his openness on social media platform X (formerly Twitter), penning two biographies, and frequently appearing on podcasts, conferences, and other events. However, there’s one aspect of his life that remains largely under wraps: his prolonged estrangement from his father, Errol Musk.

A New York Times investigation suggests that a primary cause of this estrangement is the child sexual abuse allegations against Errol Musk. These allegations have repeatedly disrupted Elon’s life as family members have sought his help to safeguard the youngest members of the family, leading Elon to make some difficult interventions.

So far, three separate police investigations have been carried out in South Africa and the United States concerning these allegations. None have resulted in prosecution, and Errol Musk, who has never been convicted, vehemently denies all the charges, dismissing them as “outrageous lies aimed at extracting money from Elon”.

This case has evolved into a distressing, multi-generational saga that continues to burden the world’s wealthiest man. The repercussions keep Musk connected to South Africa, where his father resides, despite Musk having established a business empire in the US and having served as a senior advisor to former President Donald Trump at one point.

Errol Musk and his family

Errol Graham Musk, now 79, is a South African engineer who found success as a businessman in Pretoria during the 1970s and 1980s, even earning a seat on the city council.

He married Maye Haldeman in 1970, a model and dietician. They had three children together:Elon (1971), Kimball (1972), and Tosca (1974). The marriage ended in 1979. In her 2019 autobiography, Maye Musk claimed that Errol physically and verbally abused her during their marriage, a claim he denies.

Young Elon also had a strained relationship with his father. While he chose to live with his father following his parents’ divorce, he later referred to this decision as a “tragic mistake”. “I didn’t even know how awful he was,” he admitted. In a 2017 interview with Rolling Stone, an emotional Elon claimed that his father had done “just about every bad thing you can think of.” In a biography published in 2023, penned by Walter Isaacson, Musk revealed that he no longer has any contact with his father.

Following his divorce from Maye, Errol Musk married Sue Wilson, also a model, but that marriage was short-lived. In the early 1990s, Erol crossed paths with Heide-Mari Bezuidenhout, a woman nearly two decades his junior. Heide, a mother of three young children from a previous marriage, had been grappling with mental health issues. Her first husband, the father of her two sons and one daughter, had tragically died in a car accident.

Erol and Heide tied the knot around 1992, and not long after, welcomed their own daughter. This expanded their family to seven children: Heide’s three children from her first marriage (whom Erol embraced as his stepchildren), their newly born daughter, and Erol’s three older children from his first marriage to Maye. By this time, however, Erol’s children with Maye had relocated to North America to live with their mother.

The First Allegation (1993)

In April 1993, a disturbing incident sent shockwaves through the Musk family. Erol’s four-year-old stepdaughter, a child from Heide’s first marriage, confided in her aunt that she had been inappropriately touched by her stepfather.

As per the child’s account, Erol had taken her outside their Pretoria home, placed her atop a row of garbage cans, and proceeded to touch her inappropriately. The girl’s aunt, Elmi Schmidt (Heide’s sister), promptly reported the incident to the authorities, triggering a police investigation into the alleged sexual abuse of a minor.

Before the case could reach the courts, Heide Bezuidenhout retracted the complaint against her husband. Family members suggest this was part of a settlement during their divorce proceedings, with Heide allegedly receiving a house, a car, and monthly alimony in return for dropping the charges.

Erol maintains that two separate courts reviewed the case and found no evidence against him. He further asserts that he was granted full custody of their shared daughter, with Heide only allowed supervised visits with a social worker present. Erol claims this vindicates him, asserting that the charges were baseless. (However, the official court records have not been made public, and Erol’s assertions have not been independently confirmed.)

Following their divorce, Erol and Heide went their separate ways, but their separation was short-lived. In 1996, Heide married and divorced a third husband, before suffering a psychological breakdown and being admitted to a psychiatric hospital for severe depression. Her three children from her first marriage, including the 4-year-old who had made the initial complaint, were temporarily placed in a child welfare institution.

By 1999, Heide and Erol had reconciled and remarried. Erol maintained custody of their joint daughter, while Heide’s three older children were released from the institution and returned to the family home in 2000.

A year later, the couple welcomed another daughter, marking their second child together.

The Los Angeles Incident (2002)

By the early 2000s, Elon Musk had already made a name for himself as a successful Silicon Valley entrepreneur. After selling his fintech startup, which later evolved into PayPal, he had amassed a considerable fortune and was residing in California. In 2002, he founded SpaceX and invited his father, Heide, and their children to visit him in the US. To keep them close, he purchased a house in Malibu valued at roughly $2 million.

However, it wasn’t long before a troubling incident took place. One afternoon, as the family was getting ready for a movie outing, the 14-year-old stepdaughter — the same girl who had lodged the first complaint in 1993 — returned to her room to fetch a cardigan. According to her allegation, she found Errol Musk sniffing her underwear.

The family’s response was swift. They contacted the Los Angeles police and filed a report. The authorities initiated an investigation and a restraining order was issued, barring Errol from approaching the children. Concurrently, Heide filed for divorce in a California court, citing “irreconcilable differences” and seeking full custody of the children. However, the proceedings were not finalized and in 2009, the petition was dismissed due to inactivity, as the family had already relocated back to South Africa.

The 2002 incident was a turning point. Elon decided to distance his father: initially, he provided him with a small boat to keep him away from the family home in Malibu, and soon after, encouraged him to return to South Africa. (Errol asserts that he left of his own accord.) This period marks the beginning of the definitive breakdown in the father-son relationship. Elon, deeply disturbed by his father’s conduct, later confessed that Errol had been “disturbingly affectionate” with his stepdaughter, leading him to lose all trust in him. He even contemplated seeking legal custody of his half-siblings to safeguard them.

With Errol back in South Africa, the dynamics changed. The once prosperous engineer started facing financial hardships and began depending on his sons’ financial support. In an email to Elon, she lamented, “now I am solely dependent on your card here.” Elon’s brother, Kimball, who was included in the email exchange, responded with anger: “Financially, that was horrible – but much more painful for Elon than for you. The scariest thing I learned is that the children preferred to live in the home rather than with you or Heide.”

“A Very Difficult Situation”: 2003-2011

In 2003, Heide Bezuiddenhot and four of her children returned to South Africa, which they considered their true home. Two years later, she filed for divorce from Errol once again.

In 2006, tragedy struck when her youngest son, just 16, died in a car accident near Malmesbury. In a letter to Elon Musk around 2007, she described her dire circumstances, living in a house without a bathroom or kitchen. Elon stepped in, paying for home repairs, fencing, and private school tuition for his two half-sisters.

Meanwhile, her former stepdaughter was spiralling into drug addiction, a consequence of the grief she suffered from her brother’s death. She was repeatedly incarcerated for stealing jewelry from Errol and Heide to fund her drug habit. In 2009, Heide rekindled her relationship with Errol, drawing her children back into his life.

One fateful night, the former stepdaughter, then 21 and a university student, returned home to allege that Errol had forcefully kissed her and put his tongue in her mouth. She sought and was granted an interim protection order (IPO) in Stellenbosch court. In the application, she also accused Errol of sexually abusing his two younger daughters—his children with Heide—and his stepson, years prior to the boy’s death. The application lacked further details.

In a letter Heide sent to Elon around the same time, she mentioned a complaint by one of her daughters against their father. A relative who wrote to Elon in 2010 corroborated these allegations.

Erol dismissed the accusations about his stepson as “nonsense” and those about his daughters as “absurd”. He counterclaimed that it was the former stepdaughter who had “pounced” on him while he was sleeping in a guest room and “kissed him inappropriately”.

The young woman subsequently dropped out of university and fell deeper into drug addiction. She told the New York Times that her childhood trauma led to her substance abuse.

 

In 2011, Heide’s sister, Elmi Schmidt, reached out to Elon for help. His assistant responded, acknowledging the difficult situation and describing the stepdaughter’s condition as “desperate”. She assured Elon that she would cover the cost of a rehab program for the young woman. She was admitted to a clinic for a short period, but soon found herself back on the streets, homeless for a time.

The Shocking Father-Daughter Relationship

Midway through the 2010s, a shocking revelation came to light. The former stepdaughter, now in her 30s, was approached by Errol Musk who, according to relatives, was seeking financial support. Errol later confessed that the two had begun a romantic relationship. In a 2018 interview with the Sunday Times, he admitted to fathering a child with her, saying “we were two lonely, lost people… you can call it God’s will or nature’s will” that brought them together.

 

Despite her vulnerable state, the woman became pregnant and gave birth to Errol’s child in 2017.

The revelation of an unthinkable father-stepdaughter relationship has sent shockwaves through the family and drawn harsh public criticism.

Erol is reported to have fathered two children from this relationship, one in 2017 and another in 2019. When queried by The New York Times, he refused to disclose the exact number of children he has with her, retorting, “It’s none of your business.” She, on the other hand, told the Times that she has had one child with Erol. Those close to her note that motherhood was a pivotal moment that helped her overcome addiction. She claims to have been “clean” in recent years and that her life has improved since the birth of her child.

Internal Struggles and Public Disclosures

Despite his troubled past, Erol has consistently portrayed a polished image of his life to the public. In February 2023, he made an appearance on a popular South African podcast, Wide Awake, where he discussed his past without mentioning any family disputes or accusations against him. This blatant omission infuriated family members.

Elmi Schmidt, the sister of his third wife, decided to intervene. In June 2023, she appeared on the same podcast (anonymously) and publicly disclosed some of the shocking allegations, including the 1993 incident involving a four-year-old girl.

Simultaneously, his now 37-year-old former stepdaughter spoke out publicly for the first time. In an interview with The New York Times, she refrained from directly addressing the abuse allegations but clarified that she and her children do not live with Erol. “My children are safe and well-cared for,” she stated. She also revealed that her primary financial supporter is Elon Musk, her half-brother, who provides her with a monthly allowance and has purchased a car for her to ease her daily life. “Elon was always there for us,” she said.

Recent Developments and Elon Musk’s Response

Despite many attempts to put an end to this family nightmare, a new disturbing allegation emerged in 2022. The then approximately five-year-old son that Erol Musk had with his former stepdaughter allegedly told family members that his father had “touched his buttocks”. “He was screaming: ‘No, Daddy!'” a relative described in an email recounting the incident. A social worker attempted to meet with family members to discuss the situation but was met with denial and resistance. Concerned for the child’s safety, she alerted the police.

South African authorities have initiated an investigation into the matter. Family members even disclosed the case file number. A police spokesperson confirmed that an inquiry into a child abuse complaint was underway, without revealing the identities of those involved. Due to insufficient evidence, the prosecution decided not to press charges. Case Closed

Errol Musk has dismissed the latest allegations against him as false, along with all previous accusations. “No evidence has been presented because this is nonsense,” he responded in an email to reporters when questioned on the matter.

In 2023, Elon Musk began sending substantial monthly financial support to his half-sister, his former foster sister, to assist her and her children. Family sources suggest this amounted to about 30,000 South African rand per month, or roughly USD 1,700. This gesture was seen as another attempt by Elon to ensure that his vulnerable relatives wouldn’t have to rely on his father.

While Elon rarely discusses his father publicly, he made an exception in November 2023. Responding to a post on Platform X about his financial situation, he revealed that he and his brother, Kimball, had set a fundamental condition when they decided to financially support their father: that he refrain from any misconduct. “He nevertheless did it,” Elon wrote succinctly, implying that his father had breached the agreement.

Despite these events, Errol Musk maintains a contrasting narrative of his relationship with his son. In a correspondence with the New York Times, he asserted that he and Elon “are very close” and enjoy a positive relationship. This claim contradicts Elon’s own statements. The 79-year-old patriarch has also courted media attention by leveraging his famous surname, promoting a satirical cryptocurrency called MuskIt and announcing plans for a “Musk Tower” in Dubai. However, he later claimed he was “not associated” with these projects.

Despite the physical and emotional distance between father and son, these unsettling family sagas continue to cast a long shadow over Elon Musk. The unresolved trauma inflicted by his father seems to linger, affecting both the renowned entrepreneur’s personal life and the reputation of the tech empire he has built.

Information sourced from the New York Times